Mothers and daughters + inner child work

I come from a profoundly difficult family of origin. There’s a whole lot wrapped up in my story - the migrant story, unreasonable expectations and burdens placed on the eldest daughter, scapegoating, coercion, emotional abuse, and economic exploitation. But what I was left with is the profound grief of being motherless. The difficult realisation I reached in my 30s was that I was NOT loved. I was not cherished. This was the hardest lesson of all. It took me a long time to digest that fact.

The next realisation I reached was that I needed to mother myself. Whaat? That’s arse-about, innit? All that people-pleasing and trying my little heart out for nought. What a betrayal!

It took me another decade until I was in my 40s to actually start doing the work of healing my inner child - telling her she was loveable, she was okay. 

This all sounds a bit basic, doesn't it? And in a way, it actually is. 

But you can’t walk that difficult path alone. Walking alongside a skilled therapist is the best way to heal yourself. In my case, I did have a limited number of therapy sessions. I would have liked more but I got the feeling my therapist was pushing me out the door! Then I started reading and arming myself with knowledge. See resources page to get going.

What really helped me to heal was to repair the attachment wounds. I did this kind of organically but would have really loved to have someone like I am now to help me along.

If you want to have a chat with me about what this journey might look like, don’t hesitate to drop me a line in the response here, or to give me a call. Everybody’s journey is different, everybody’s reactions are different but there are some fundamentals.

I just want you to know that if you repair that inner child wound, it will mean that you are more present for yourself and the people around you. You will feel calmer. You will feel more grounded. You will feel a greater sense of inner peace and purpose. All the noise around you will stop. 

Sometimes that nasty inner critic that was the soundtrack of your childhood will resurface and you will tell firmly it to go away. Healing is never linear. Some days you will feel like it’s hopeless but then you’ll get your mojo back and be singing again. The lightness will come back into your step and you will stride out into the world again.

Sending love and light, 

Lu

Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the most beautiful of all? As a society it is taboo to discuss mothers being jealous of their daughters. We need to put under the spotlight that for some damaged mothers this is the sad truth.