Couples Counselling
COUNSELLING BYRON BAY, SUFFOLK PARK & ONLINE
Couples Counselling With Lu
Couples counselling is designed to strengthen the bond between partners and resolve conflicts, fostering a healthier relationship.
I use the lens of Emotionally Focussed Therapy developed by Dr Sue Johnson, in addition to Gottman principles in couple's therapy. Therapy goals are developed collaboratively.
Essentially we will heal any ruptures that have formed in the relationship whether you are cisgender or non binary and whatever type of relationship you are in. We will look at your attachment patterns and use emotionally focussed therapy to heal your attachment to each other.
No matter what crisis brings you to therapy, you will emerge stronger, more bonded and compassionate with your partner.
How Couples Counselling Helps
Lu Migliore Counselling specialises in providing professional counselling services to couples who are facing challenges in their relationship.
My goal is to help couples build stronger, healthier, and more fulfilling relationships. I create a safe and supportive environment where couples can explore their feelings, improve communication, and develop effective conflict resolution skills.
My approach is tailored to the unique needs of each couple, and I am dedicated to helping them navigate through difficult times and emerge with a deeper understanding of each other.
Whether you are dealing with trust issues, communication breakdowns, or other relationship challenges, I am here to support you on your journey towards healing and renewed connection.
Couples Counselling Case Studies
WONDER HOW COUPLES COUNSELLING HELPS IN REAL LIFE?
Let's meet Joe and Malia (names changed of course)
Joe is a health professional and so is Malia. They met when they were young adults. They are now 42/40 yo with two young kids and both working full time to manage their mortgage, HECS debts and new house extension and car repayments. They are maxed out on their credit cards. Malia hates her job but can’t afford to leave. Their sex life is sporadic, if non-existent. Joe misses Malia. Malia misses sleep and hanging out with Joe. They are both working full time and have just started an extension to accommodate their growing family. This is a couple under stress and still in love with one another but breaking under the pressure of work, childcare and house work and failing to connect.
Malia has found an erotic message from one of Joe’s co-workers on his phone and has blown up.
The couple is in crisis. The couple is trying to save their relationship.
Counselling goals
Repair relationship and build emotional attachment. Restore intimate connection between Joe and Malia, manage expectations and boundaries.
Explore what Joe is getting from his co-worker bearing in mind a high percentage of infidelities occur in the workplace when individuals feel more understood and valued by their colleague than by their partner. Work offers validation and status. Home can feel full of criticism, not feeling good enough and pressure.
Counsellor explored modelling in family of origin. Both Joe and Malia were able to identify negative patterns which neither of them liked. Malia’s mother was highly critical of her father when she was a child. Her father had affairs. Her mother resented him and they eventually split when Malia was at high school. Malia’s mother was bitter.
Joe’s father tried really hard to be helpful at home but Joe’s mother was highly critical of him and Joe’s father eventually retreated to his study and whisky bottle. Joe does not want to be like his father but finds himself shutting down emotionally when Malia criticises him for not doing enough around the house and he finds himself dreading going home and working later and later. At work he has been working on the ward with another doctor with whom he laughs easily and feels energised by. He has caught himself fantasising about her. He knows this is wrong but Malia rejects his advances unless she’s had a few glasses of wine and he is feeling rejected and sullen.
This is a couple who have stopped talking about their hopes and dreams. This couple is exhausted at home but very competent in the work place and Malia is very connected to her girlfriends. They all bemoan how lazy and hopeless their partners are. Resentments are simmering all over the place! The counselling room is quite tense. There are tears.
After 6-10 counselling sessions the couple is starting to connect more. They are listening to one another and airing their grievances. Both of them have recommitted to the relationship and accepted they need to make more time for one another. We discussed rituals of connection. Joe has promised to home early every Friday for pizza and video night with the kids. Malia has promised to organise a baby-sitter once a fortnight for date night. Joe has promised not to pressure Malia to be intimate but more often than not they make love after date night. Emotional connection is strengthening between them again now that they are able to articulate what they both need.
Counsellor's Notes
Have this couple’s worries gone away after counselling finishes?
No, but they have tools to address problems as they arise rather than allowing things to fester and blow up. They both understand that it is normal to be attracted to other people but they have recommitted to being exclusive. They both understand that a relationship is like a plant which needs to be watered and fed regularly.